I get pierced. Again. Against my better judgment. Again.

I faint. When I try to give blood, when the doctor forcibly removes blood, when I get a TB test, when I get a real shot, when a needle looks at me funny, or when a member of my family gets a shot, I faint (you think I’m kidding about that last one. I’m not. Ask my sister). And I don’t faint in any sort of ladylike antebellum swoon. All the color drains from my face, I mumble, “I don’t feel so well,” I sit down, and then everything goes black. The next thing I know, I’m on the floor with my legs in the air and several health care professionals staring down at me anxiously. Or I’m under an emergency shock blanket while a Red Cross nurse takes my pulse and kindly suggests that I not attempt to give blood. Ever again.

So it should come as no surprise that I fainted when I got my bellybutton pierced shortly after I turned eighteen. The surprising part is that I made it all the way out to the car and started driving before announcing that I felt dizzy, at which point I pulled over, switched places with the passenger in the front seat, and promptly passed out, effectively terrifying everyone in the back of the car.

Given my consistent cowardice and weak constitution, what sort of cockamamie reasoning led me to believe it would be a good idea to pierce my nose?

Maybe it was all the cute little nose studs you see Austrian girls wearing. Or the fact that those nose studs appear even more adorable in contrast with the heavily-pierced kids whose lip ring, septum piercing, eyebrow ring, and gauged ears make them dangerously vulnerable to anyone with a large magnet or a pair of tweezers and a mean streak. Whatever the reason, I managed to convince myself that a hole in my nose would be worth the pain, nausea, and unconsciousness that would likely accompany the process.

I dutifully looked up the German for “faint” and informed the tattooed guy at the piercing place, once he figured out what exactly it was I wanted, that I would probably pass out. He rolled his eyes. Ten minutes later found me sitting in something akin to a dentist’s chair, eyes tightly shut so I wouldn’t see the needle sticking out of my left nostril, explaining in broken German that I didn’t feel so good.

And then I passed out. After one of the dreams on speed I always have when I faint, I plodded my way back to consciousness to find two tattooed arms elevating my legs. Everything came back into focus, including the models of pierced genitalia mounted on the wall across me. Mr. Tattoos sprayed something cool on my arms and explained to me several times that I was having a problem with my “Kreislauf.” I stared at him and tried to remember where the hell I was and why a strange Austrian man was holding my ankles.

After a series of highly professional revival maneuvers, including force-feeding me a sugar tablet, Mr. Tattoos inserted a much smaller and more attractive piece of metal in my nose. I stumbled out onto the waiting room couch while my British friend described my unpleasant pallor and just how I had twitched while I was out.

My mind no longer consumed with anxiety over the actual piercing, I could begin to worry about infection. I asked Mr. Tattoos what I should do to take care of my new puncture, and he handed me a sheet of instructions. In English. Sort of.

Care tips for a fresh piercing

Fundamental:
The cure time of a piercing is and this one very strong of the respective piercing place Endogenous body’s defenses dependent. It is therefore difficult to make general statements over the duration of the cure. Fälschlicherweise think that they can take out without problems and reinstate her jewelry any time some people. It is, however, fact that the jewelry permanently should be worn within the first months. The infection risk at the Piercen is minimal if you work sterilely and cleanly and the care primarily is taken seriously correspondingly after this. Our experience shows that most problems on the following factors have to be led back:

1. Oral contact or touch with dirty fingers!
2. Use of a cleaning agent to which the body negatively reacts.
3. Inadequate or improper care.

Is valid generally:
An adequate and consistent care determines speed and Problemlosigkeit of the healing process. Exaggerated care works soich just as negatively from like on the cure to little care. Never moving piece of jewelry as long as crusts are on it still.

I feel so much better now.